I'm rich!

Normally I don't post about work, but today I am making an exception because it was so incredibly sweet and so true.

Admitted a patient with an arm fracture yesterday. She was elderly and had many other things going on with her health. As I'm going through the admission process with her, we talk about several things including children. Yesterday was slower than normal and I was able to spend a bit of time in her room just getting to know her. We spoke of favorite books, authors, music and composers, and again of children. As I was telling her about my crew, she had this look of delight on her face. I asked her if she would like to see a picture of my crew at which point she said "of course!" with great enthusiasm. So I pulled out my phone and showed her pics of hubby and the kids. Her response was beautiful. "How rich you are with your family".
I agreed with her and we continued on with the rest of the day, but her words stuck with me so I am sharing them with you today.

Yes, I am rich beyond measure and it has nothing to do with money, career, or status and everything to do with the blessings I have in my family.

So as we near the Thanksgiving holiday and black Friday madness, don't forget the real meaning of being "rich".

Catching up or catching my breath

It's been a while (does anyone else cue the Staind song when they read that?) since I've posted on here. Life has definitely been speeding along at a breakneck pace.  Let's see, we went to Madison for the Regatta, went to Detroit for the Goldcup a week later, several trips to Illinois, and our own particular brand of chaos with work, school, and band activities.

I changed apartments in August, as well as celebrated my 18th anniversary. August also brought the beginning of the school year with changes for Boo and little man. Boo got a new band director and little man is going to a new school. Both issues have had their own hurdles and challenges. All I can say is, this too shall pass.

Work has been interesting with a new patient care model being rolled out on our sister unit. I'm withholding judgement till I work over there a few more times. Sometimes what looks good and makes sense on paper, doesn't work out like we think it will. The fall season also means we get nursing students on our unit to shepherd through clinicals. These students are curious, bright eyed and, very willing to ask good questions and to jump in to learn new things, I'm sure they will go far as they finish out their schooling. I found out that the baby nurse that I precepted this summer will be speaking at her class's Pinning ceremony in May. So proud of her!

Speaking of pinning. My SIL will be graduating with her BSN in December. She has grown SOOOO much as a human being in the last 4 years and I couldn't be more proud of her. So on December 14th we will celebrate all of her hard work and success.

It's cold wet and rainy outside today so I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. I don't want to stay cooped up all day, but then again, I don't want to go outside and get wet! Oh well, I'm sure I'll think of something to get into. Hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween! Till next time.

Odds and Ends

It's been a bit crazy around here for the past few weeks. I haven't seen Tn for what seems like an eternity in between working and mini-vacations.

1st off after my last post was the Madison Regatta the weekend after July 4th. Unfortunately mother nature decided to sulk and the Ohio river was too high to race the boats. The upside was that we got to spend more time with family than we usually do.

Last weekend was the Gold Cup in Detroit. Had some fun in the sun watching some great boat racing (even if our favorite driver got shafted in the final). Little man got to meet Steve David several times (his idol) and had some great conversations with him over the course of the weekend as well as getting to spend time with his cousins. Harlee couldn't quit smiling at all the photo subject matter with the boats and people (even if she killed the camera battery half way through Sunday lol). I think she wants to go next year.

This week at work has been CRAZY!!! I have decided that I really dislike doing 3 days in a row because I am beat at the end of it. Still love my job though (and Louisville, much to hubby's chagrin).

Yesterday was my externs last day. I am sad to see her go, but I know that she will do great things as she finishes school and decides where she wants to go from there. She gave me a beautiful card and flowers Tuesday and a great goody basket yesterday. I will definitely miss having my shadow. But the upside is that she is going to school in Nashville so hopefully we will keep in touch! Lunch today with her at one of my favorite places so I don't think it will be hard. =)

I was nervous when my boss told be that I would be precepting a baby nurse (you want me to teach them?!....Gulp!). However, I learned a lot from the experience and it solidified my desire to go back for my Ph. D in nursing so that I can continue the journey that will take me to teaching in some form or fashion. I've had some great role models in my life for teaching. I have an Uncle who teaches music in Illinois, an Aunt who retired from teaching music in Florida (both at the University level), and my grandmother  (dad's side) was also a teacher. Never thought I would be continuing that tradition! Now off to lunch :)

I hope every one is having a great summer!

Happy Birthday Dad

Today would have been Dad's 65th birthday. Seems so surreal that he's not there for me to call anymore. Many times in the past 4 months I've wanted to pick up the phone and talk to him. He always laughed when I shaved Lil man's hair into a mohawk in the summer. He would have been the perfect person to teach the girls how to drive a stick shift since not much rattled him driving wise. He did manage to teach me without losing his temper lol.

Dad and I didn't have the best of relationships. There was a lot of water and hurt under the bridge. I think we both wanted more but we didn't know how to get there. I think in some ways we were too much alike. Both of us kept our emotions close to our chests. There is a downfall to having poker faces. We hide the hurt others cause us and just soldier on. Doesn't necessarily make for healthy relationships sometimes.

I try to stay away from what ifs on this one. Just as I mourn for the loss of my Dad, I also mourn for what might have been. There are no guarantees that if things were different that they would be better. I just wish I would have been able to hear his voice one more time and have one more bear hug.

Miss you Dad.

It's that time again

Summer is almost officially here, which in our house means hydroplane season. We will be going to Madison, IN to watch the Madison Regatta the weekend after July 4th then turn around and go to the Detroit Gold Cup the following weekend. Regatta this year will be bittersweet without Tan being there with us, but I suppose I have to learn to deal with it. Who know's maybe we'll make it out to San Diego in September. That's always a possibility.

After the boat races we will be down in Manchester,Tn for the All American Mud run. I'll be honest. I've slacked off on training due to some scheduling issues and the fact that Kyle has too because he was sick, but it's time to get back on track before it bites us on the tail. Baby steps, that's what I keep telling myself.

August brings our 18th anniversary (my, where has the time gone). Would like to do something special but have no idea exactly what that would be. This fall Harlee will be a Junior and little man will me in 4th grade. He ended 3rd grade with AB honor roll and has told me he will be A honor roll next year (here's crossing my fingers). So glad to see the self-motivation this kid has with school, now if he would just apply that to his chores....

The job is still going well. I learn something new on a daily basis. Still looking at taking the GRE so I can begin my Ph.D, but it will be after I get the crew up here. There is just no way I could get all the classwork done while doing as much driving as I've been doing and still be sane at the end of it all. The more I work with patients and new nurses, the more I realize that I really want to teach still. So for now I will soak up as much as I can.

Hope everyone has a great day =)

Sci-fi....reality?

As many of you know, I LOVE to read. The only downfall I've found to my Kindle is that the battery does not last near long enough for a prolonged reading session for me (which can span into the majority of the day if I don't watch it). So I'm hopping around the web this afternoon (yes, the Kindle is recharging as I write this), and I found this article on ETT aka Evacuated Tube Transport. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/futuristic-high-speed-tube-travel-could-york-los-171007828.html?vp=1 

My mind isn't blown per se, however it is already in overdrive factoring in the infrastructure and economic changes something like this would entail. Aside from the fact that it would make the Global courier business skyrocket, current delivery behemoths UPS, Fed-Ex, and DHL would seriously have to restructure. Airlines would be severely crippled, especially in light of skyrocketing fuel costs, mediocre earnings, and abyssmal customer ratings. There are other implications as well that aren't immediately apparent. What about the need to completely revamp Over-The-Road transportation currently used as a goods delivery system? If this is put into play, it has the potential to knock the trucking industry as we know it flat on it's proverbial tail. 

Now I know that some of you will immediately say "That's what the rail system does"...but does it do cross country in less than an hour? According to the article the time from NYC to Japan would be 2 hours. The rail system also has the inherent downfall of right of ways and easements at a cost effective price. That's one of the reasons that there is no rail service in the Middle Tennessee area other than the Nashville Star that runs from Lebanon, TN to Nashville & back. 

To put a healthcare spin on things, how bout if a kidney came available in Oregon and it was needed in Florida? Wow, what a turn around. 

What about the downside to this though? (I promise I'm not trying to be a 'Debbie Downer' here) Currently it can be difficult to trace pathogens through our current transportation system. Can you imagine the chaos with transportation this fast?

Either way I feel like I'm seeing something from Robert A. Heinlein's "Friday" come to life. Will be interesting to watch. 

What about you? What are the pro's and cons that you see with transportation like this? 

Random musings

I have discovered that I am a crappy patient. I don't mean that I don't follow instructions (I do) I mean in that  all I will do is sleep, wake up long enough to take meds & eat or drink whatever I can keep down, & then go back to sleep ASAP.....looking back at that, maybe I'm not a crappy patient after all lol!

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After 12 days of being gone, I am home again. (YAY!!!). Granted I will be gone again Sunday night, but I missed my kids, my cat, and most of all my Hubby who makes all things right with the world when I don't feel good.

Hopefully this weekend I will be able to go see a movie with the family (Fast 6 and Star Trek are at the drive-in) Also hoping to catch up w/ my SIL after her trip to Guatemala.

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Speaking of Star Trek, Harlee and I had a great discussion about Star trek and Star Wars this morning. Along with Fringe and Dr. Who, my kids share my Sci-fi/fantasy addiction. Which leads to a lot of what if questions. What if we had transporters and light sabers etc. We already have things that are close to the Tricorders used in Star Trek (isn't that cool?) I can't think of a better way to get the imagination going than discussing science what ifs.


Alright enough rumination for today. I have a house to clean and a 9 yr old to occupy =)

Milestones

Well, we did it. Tanith actually managed to graduate. Then she moved out to her boyfriends. Scary stuff for this mom. She's 18. I can't tell her what to do anymore and I can't soften the consequences for her actions. From here on out it's on her.

Oh but I miss her already (yes, yes I know she just lives 10 minutes away). My silly wonderful child who makes me laugh (they all do actually, but for now I'm talking about her). Frankly though, I'm terrified. Will she make good decisions? Will she manage not to follow my footsteps in mistake making? I'm struggling with the role change. I'm now relegated to cheerleader instead of coach. Definitely enough to make me nervous.

The upside is that I have faith in her, despite my worrying (after all isn't that what mom's do?). She is a bright articulate young lady who has a good head on her shoulders (for the most part anyways lol). She will make her own mistakes and she will figure out how to solve them as well.

Though she has been accepted to Trevecca Nazarene University in Nashville and previously adamant about teaching music, she is now realizing that there are many options out there and that though Trevecca is her dream school, it may not be where she needs to be. So this summer will definitely be one of exploration, research, and decisions for her.
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Harlee is growing up too fast as well. She obtained her drivers license soon after we got back from Disney in April. Her and Kyle are currently working on getting her little Ranger up and running. Great father/daughter time for the two of them.

She also has a boyfriend. Not sure what I think about that yet. He's a good kid though and treats her well. They have fun together and have been friends & classmates for the last 2 years.

Poor Kyle, here I am up here in Louisville, and almost all his babies are flying the coop. I don't think either of us are ready for them to be completely gone. Even if we do give them a hard time about hurrying up and moving out.
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A.J. is, well, he's himself. Today is awards day at school for him and I'm excited to hear if he got AB honor role again, which for all that he's had to deal with, is an awesome thing. He's getting soooooo big! Soon he will hit that lovely pre-puberty growth spurt and I will once again be the shortest person in the house.

This summer he will most likely spend A LOT of time with Kyle out on the farm since I will be back and forth from Louisville so much. After June though, I am hoping to bring him and Harlee up here for a week or so and spend some time exploring Louisville together. It's funny, I usually have at least one off day here in Louisville, but I rarely go exploring. I guess I want them all to experience it with me. After all isn't that what families do?
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Sunday my SIL will return from her mission trip to Guatemala. I am excited to hear of her travels and experiences and so incredibly glad that she had the opportunity to do this.

Hope everyone has a great day. I've got to quit rambling on here & go do something constructive!

New adventures

I'm not quite sure how this happened, but apparently I along with my husband, his sister, and her husband , will be participating it the http://greatamericanmudrun.com/, Now keep in mind that I don't run. Ever. Brisk walk, no problem. Running, no. However, according to my husband, he registered us last night.

In November the 16 yo also wants to participate in Run for your lives (http://www.runforyourlives.com/) which is a Zombie themed 5k. There is also an Zombie run the end of September that looks interesting.

So now begins the training. We have found a training schedule at http://www.coolrunning.com/ that is suited to our current fitness levels. So hopefully by mid-summer, my fat behind will be at least able to jog for 3.1 miles.

I know that this is not going to be easy. I'm still a smoker. Granted, I make a pack last 3-4 days but I still smoke. This will have to stop if I am to have enough stamina to do this.

It will also mean that we finally bite the bullet and change our eating habits more than we already have. Currently we eat red meat 3-4 times a week still, and more fried foods than are good for us. I'm still a sucker for a cherry coke from Sonic (sometimes it sucks living less than 1/2 a block from one lol).

So if any of you out there are runners and have suggestions and/or encouragement let me know. If you have beaten the smoking habit, let me know as well.

And last but not least, I challenge all of you that don't run or have a current fitness regime, to find a fun 5k to train for this year. There are zombie runs, color runs, glo runs, and more. They are less focused on your time in general and more on the fact that you finish period. Some like the mud run  are obstacle courses others you get doused with powdered color and the end of ever km. You never know, you might enjoy it!

"Just"

Perusing Facebook this morning I came across a post that had me ready to tear my hair out. Maybe it was the fact I was only halfway through my first cup of coffee, but the content of that post set me off (Kyle, keep your PMS comments to yourself)

" I'm just a girl. I love being called pretty but I'll never believe it. I'm not always right, but I hate admitting I'm wrong. I'm almost always smiling, but it's not always real. I can be read like an open book, but hide so much.  I work hard at things, but don't always get what I deserve. I'm just a girl."

Now on the surface this comment seems fairly innocuous. In fact the descriptions describe parts of my personality rather well. What I have issues with is the word "just".

I am not 'Just' anything. I am a woman, I am human, I am strong, vulnerable, kind, compassionate, protective, caring, smart, and many other things. I am me. When 'just' is added to that description, it completely negates it all. It also makes you sound like a victim.

So ladies and gentlemen, when describing yourself, give yourself the credit you deserve instead of negating it with this word. Let the world know that you are the captain of your ship, not 'just' the 1st mate.

Ok, rant finished!

Hope everyone has a good day =)

Moving on....ish

It's been almost a month since Dad passed. I've gotten over the whole knee jerk crying reaction when thinking about him or seeing something that reminds me of him. Now it's down to this dull ache that never seems to go away.

Work has helped. It's hard to think about it when you are so busy taking care of others that there's no time to ruminate over what ifs. Kyle & the kids have helped the most. They make me laugh even if I don't think I can.

We are coming down to the wire for the band trip in April where the girls will march Magic Kingdom at Disney. The band kids and band parents have been working on fundraising for this trip for the last year and have made a good size dent in the transportation costs.  So we are all looking forward to the warm and sunny Florida next month.

Time to go clean....yay...not.

Heartbreak

Today's post is a hard one to write. I lost my father yesterday morning. He was in hospice and we knew it was coming, but it was still too soon.

My heart hurts as I look through his medical records from the VA and realize just how much he hid from us about his physical and psychological issues. My father never found peace. He roamed and wandered in an effort to find that and never did.

As a part time parent (he only had me every summer and every other Christmas and spring break) he did his best to spend time with me. I remember on more than one occasion where he stopped by the school to check on me and my grades, even though he lived 9 hours away.

He wasn't perfect, but he was who he was and our approval wasn't needed. Guess I didn't stray too far from that ideology.

Good-bye Daddy, I hope where ever you end up that you find peace and comfort.

Winter Neutral

Well the cabin fever seems to have abated a bit. Got my football fix yesterday watching the Super Bowl. Now life settles in to it's routine again. Well, as routine as my life gets anyways. The job is still going awesome and I'm really enjoying getting involved in the organization as a whole. Starting to cut my teeth in research and am definitely looking forward to the opportunity that has presented itself.  They say you can't change the world by yourself, but you can change your corner of it. If that's the case, the company I'm working for is a great vehicle in which to do that.

Have dialed in that I want to go back for my Ph.D in a few years so I can teach. I love having the nursing students on the floor putting all the pieces of the puzzle together and then seeing their faces light  up when they get it.

Commuting stinks. I think that's the only downside of all of this. Granted, being away from my family makes me appreciate them more. However, I really miss seeing them get all silly like they did yesterday morning. There was a huge box on the front porch leftover from a delivery that we hadn't broken down yet. Tanith, Harlee, A.J., and Courtney proceeded to spend the next hour coming up with ways to use said box to entertain themselves while Kyle and I were making goodies for the football game. As much as I say I'm ready for them to leave the nest, the house will be really quiet when they do.

Found a new indie author on the Kindle last month and found his blog this morning: http://richardraley.blogspot.com/
He definitely has some interesting characters in his King Henry series. If foul language offends you don't read it. If you're like me and it doesn't faze you one way or another, find him on Amazon and give him a try. Quick reading, but enjoyable and will definitely elicit more than a few chuckles. He also has book reviews for 2012 releases that are to the point and helpful.

Ok, I guess I've kicked around on here long enough. Time to go run errands and be somewhat productive today.

Cabin Fever

It's barely the beginning of winter and here I am restless as all get out. Part of that may be that I haven't smoked a cigarette since Friday morning (God help the people around me for the next month...if the past 2 days are any indication, I am going to be a cranky wench). It rained all day yesterday, it's raining today, and dang it I just want to go outside for a while and enjoy the 70+ degree weather outside.

Things aren't happening as quickly as I want (as always I want everything RIGHT NOW), and I'm irritable because of it. That's not all of what's making me contrary, but I'm not ready to go into that at the moment. I'm ready for some sunshine, some outdoor activity, and some R&R. I cleared 90 hours at work in the past two weeks and I'm ready for something.....anything at this point to do other than clean the house and watch the rain fall all day. Football will be a minor distraction this afternoon.

I feel like I could zap someone with all this nervous energy running around in my head? I don't have a good outlet at the moment, I need to move but am paralyzed by the lack of a direction. I know, I know just pick one.

Ok, am going to clean something....at least it's accomplishing something with all this energy.

And the wheel keeps on turning

I'm posting this a few days early because I won't be near a computer until Thursday and that would be after the fact and completely pointless.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANITH!!!!!!!

My baby girl will be 18 later on this week. So many things I want to say to her. So many things I don't know how to say. We spent yesterday playing Lazer-tag, riding go karts and bumper cars, and generally being silly. I will miss these days as she gets older, though I hope she keeps her ability to be crazy and zany at the drop of a hat. So I guess I will post a few things I want her to remember as her path through life as an adult officially begins.

1. The world can be scary, I know that you know this. Find your safe place and guard it fiercely.
2. Surround yourself with people who will cheer you on and hold you as accountable as you will hold them.
3. Be the friend you want, relationships should never be one-sided. 
4. Don't be afraid to dream, when you stop dreaming, you lose hope. Hope is a must have for life. 
5. Be compassionate. Try to put yourself in someone else's shoes if possible. Just because it's not the way you normally do things, does not make it automatically wrong. 
6. I am always here for you. Doesn't matter if it's for a hug, a sounding board, a vent, a safe place, whatever. I am always here for you. 
7. Life begins outside your comfort zone. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable every once in a while. 
8. When it comes to men (boys), remember what Dad and I have tried to show you. You know what your worth is, don't let a jerk take it away from you. 
9. Don't leave your siblings behind completely. I know that you are now in a different space and that you won't always get along, but you will cherish those relationships when you get older. 
10. Last but certainly not least. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! You have grown into a beautiful young woman in heart and mind. I cannot wait to see the direction you choose for you are capable of just about anything you set your mind to. Adversity is not an obstacle, it is a stepping stone. Don't intentionally seek it out, but embrace it when it comes because it means you are growing as a person.

Love you!!!