Friday, June 28, 2013

Happy Birthday Dad

Today would have been Dad's 65th birthday. Seems so surreal that he's not there for me to call anymore. Many times in the past 4 months I've wanted to pick up the phone and talk to him. He always laughed when I shaved Lil man's hair into a mohawk in the summer. He would have been the perfect person to teach the girls how to drive a stick shift since not much rattled him driving wise. He did manage to teach me without losing his temper lol.

Dad and I didn't have the best of relationships. There was a lot of water and hurt under the bridge. I think we both wanted more but we didn't know how to get there. I think in some ways we were too much alike. Both of us kept our emotions close to our chests. There is a downfall to having poker faces. We hide the hurt others cause us and just soldier on. Doesn't necessarily make for healthy relationships sometimes.

I try to stay away from what ifs on this one. Just as I mourn for the loss of my Dad, I also mourn for what might have been. There are no guarantees that if things were different that they would be better. I just wish I would have been able to hear his voice one more time and have one more bear hug.

Miss you Dad.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

It's that time again

Summer is almost officially here, which in our house means hydroplane season. We will be going to Madison, IN to watch the Madison Regatta the weekend after July 4th then turn around and go to the Detroit Gold Cup the following weekend. Regatta this year will be bittersweet without Tan being there with us, but I suppose I have to learn to deal with it. Who know's maybe we'll make it out to San Diego in September. That's always a possibility.

After the boat races we will be down in Manchester,Tn for the All American Mud run. I'll be honest. I've slacked off on training due to some scheduling issues and the fact that Kyle has too because he was sick, but it's time to get back on track before it bites us on the tail. Baby steps, that's what I keep telling myself.

August brings our 18th anniversary (my, where has the time gone). Would like to do something special but have no idea exactly what that would be. This fall Harlee will be a Junior and little man will me in 4th grade. He ended 3rd grade with AB honor roll and has told me he will be A honor roll next year (here's crossing my fingers). So glad to see the self-motivation this kid has with school, now if he would just apply that to his chores....

The job is still going well. I learn something new on a daily basis. Still looking at taking the GRE so I can begin my Ph.D, but it will be after I get the crew up here. There is just no way I could get all the classwork done while doing as much driving as I've been doing and still be sane at the end of it all. The more I work with patients and new nurses, the more I realize that I really want to teach still. So for now I will soak up as much as I can.

Hope everyone has a great day =)