There are times in life when the little things get to you. The big things do too. They sneak up on you and smack you around and humble you with breathtakingly ruthless precision. Last night was one of those nights for me. When the unfairness of life and losing people you love makes you curl up into a ball and feel like someone is ripping your heart out. Yeah, I was there last night, and it hurt.
It's bad enough that I miss these people. You know, the dull ache that never really goes away, we just get better at ignoring it. The worst part is the realization that there are very few people anymore who knew who I was as a child. I'm not talking about people who physically knew you. No, I'm talking about the people that GOT you. The ones who knew who you were without you having to tell them. The ones that you ran to when the world was being mean. Almost all of those people for me are gone. And with them a part of my childhood. There are very few people that can tell me funny stories about myself at a time before I was able to remember...or that time or stress erased for me. Part of this is from a recent loss in the family, part of it is older. I always felt like the odd man out in the family, so hearing those stories made me not so odd and I didn't feel quite so out. These are the people that connected me to everyone else. And they aren't there any more.
Now DH acts as the connector to everyone else, and it's a damn good thing he does or I feel like I would be drifting into an abyss. Maybe I'm just feeling my age and too damn many people that I love have said goodbye. Whatever the reason, I feel raw and unsettled right now and I want it to stop. Oh and I'm homesick. I'm tired of bouncing back and forth right now! Ok, pity party over for now. Till the next time it sneaks up on me and beats me up.
Showing posts with label Childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Childhood. Show all posts
Friday, May 22, 2015
Sunday, December 18, 2011
A Precious Gift
As some of you know, I am an avid reader. Words fascinate me. They are the threads that weave stories. Whether it be fiction or non fiction, books hold a special place in my heart.
For 30 some odd years my grandparents David & Harriet Brown owned a bookstore by the name of Brown's House of Books in Amarillo, Tx. When they retired in 1979 (alas I was only 3 and no where near old enough to appreciate it), my grandmother went to work for the Amarillo Public Library system. On school breaks I would go to the library with my grandmother and lose myself in the shelf mazes until she was able to leave. As the only child in a house full of adults, books became my play fellows. Some of my favorite authors are those of the classics: Francis Hodgson Burnett, Charles Dickens, Jack London, & Louisa May Alcott. I had a very active imagination and had no problem occupying myself inside the pages of a book.
I will say that I was very fortunate to have my parents, grandparents, and extended family place a high value on literacy. My parents & grandparents read to me incessantly before I could do it myself at the tender age of 5 (honestly I don't remember not being able to read). My extended family fostered my love of reading by introducing me to different authors & genres. I will never forget the Christmas that I received Madeleine L'Engle's "A Wrinkle in Time" series from my Aunt Brenda. I think I was probably around 10 at the time, however it opened my eyes to the sci-fi genre.
Another thing that had a high value placed on it during my childhood was critical thinking. I remember watching the Presidential debates with my grandfather and then having discussions with him about the pros and cons of each candidate. I was always encouraged to look words and concepts up if I was unfamiliar with them. Of course this was in the 80's before the internet became ubiquitous. So I would have to wait till I could go to the library to look all these wonderful ideas and concepts up in the card catalog or Encyclopedia. I don't ever remember being shut down for asking questions. If it was something I could learn by looking up myself, it was strongly encouraged. If it was something that took a more personal touch, Memaw, Pa, or my mother would explain it to me.
So today I want to take time to thank all of those who fostered my love of reading. It has been a wonderful and lasting gift that has served me well. A most precious gift indeed.
Mrs. Martin
For 30 some odd years my grandparents David & Harriet Brown owned a bookstore by the name of Brown's House of Books in Amarillo, Tx. When they retired in 1979 (alas I was only 3 and no where near old enough to appreciate it), my grandmother went to work for the Amarillo Public Library system. On school breaks I would go to the library with my grandmother and lose myself in the shelf mazes until she was able to leave. As the only child in a house full of adults, books became my play fellows. Some of my favorite authors are those of the classics: Francis Hodgson Burnett, Charles Dickens, Jack London, & Louisa May Alcott. I had a very active imagination and had no problem occupying myself inside the pages of a book.
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| Brown's House of Books, Downtown Amarillo, Tx |
I will say that I was very fortunate to have my parents, grandparents, and extended family place a high value on literacy. My parents & grandparents read to me incessantly before I could do it myself at the tender age of 5 (honestly I don't remember not being able to read). My extended family fostered my love of reading by introducing me to different authors & genres. I will never forget the Christmas that I received Madeleine L'Engle's "A Wrinkle in Time" series from my Aunt Brenda. I think I was probably around 10 at the time, however it opened my eyes to the sci-fi genre.
Another thing that had a high value placed on it during my childhood was critical thinking. I remember watching the Presidential debates with my grandfather and then having discussions with him about the pros and cons of each candidate. I was always encouraged to look words and concepts up if I was unfamiliar with them. Of course this was in the 80's before the internet became ubiquitous. So I would have to wait till I could go to the library to look all these wonderful ideas and concepts up in the card catalog or Encyclopedia. I don't ever remember being shut down for asking questions. If it was something I could learn by looking up myself, it was strongly encouraged. If it was something that took a more personal touch, Memaw, Pa, or my mother would explain it to me.
So today I want to take time to thank all of those who fostered my love of reading. It has been a wonderful and lasting gift that has served me well. A most precious gift indeed.
Mrs. Martin
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